There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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