I accidentally burped into my bong.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I will be naked everywhere
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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