Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
My vagina is very pro this idea
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