I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
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