Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
