All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
