wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
