i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
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