Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
