im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
