I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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