I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
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