I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
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