Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
