It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize