Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
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