Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
i just made my gag reflex go away.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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