why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
