So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
