Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Damn victory sex feels great
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
