I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize