I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
