I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
