I'm really into asian looking animals
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
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