I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
