What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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