while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
