i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
