Say something about gay babies.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
