Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
