You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
