accomplished twins. life is a go
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
