so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
