May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
