Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
they're like a gay fantastic four
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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