Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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