If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I smell like Dick and happiness
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
