I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
