Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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