He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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