The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
