I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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