Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
