The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
NoShamevember. You game?
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
