id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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