i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
We need to get me chipped asap
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize