he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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