I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
