Umm I'm too high to move.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
