god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Randomize
