grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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