very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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