OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
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