i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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