don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
