i don't plan on having that self control this summer
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Randomize